You Ain't Gotta Be a Saint
Updated: Dec 23, 2019
If you haven't already, start with Step 1 of this Forgiveness Process: How to Forgive and Why. Welcome to Step 2.
It’s easy to get caught up in what happened yesterday or earlier in the week with THAT person that shares YOUR space. It’s easy to talk about it with others so they can commiserate and tell you how right you are. On the flipside, what if you just actually FORGAVE that person? Say, what? Yes, I said it.
Instead of throwing shade, light it up with understanding. Maybe that person was going through it or they were thrown off by something other than you (not everybody has learned how to redirect their energy). Or, take a second to believe that it might actually be you who needed a reflection of your behaviors. Maybe, is it quite possible, that you have stuff to work on? Keep the possibilities open and remove the judgements.
Do these kinds of people and their issues/problematic interactions ALWAYS happen to you? Do you believe everybody out to get you or screw you over? Do you hold on to grudges? Do you find it hard to forgive people for little things and make them into bigger things? What is it that’s holding you back in this unhealthy cycle? What are you attracting with your thoughts and actions? Be real with yourself. Take a few to reflect.
Now, take a deep breath, look at the behavior of the other person, and forgive them. Look inside, really deep, and see if this is something you have done to others before or if there is a correlating feeling connected to your past. If there is, you can decide to let it go; decide it’s not a behavior you’d like to continue anymore, whether it be yours or theirs. Once you do, you can change your reality to what you want it to be. Believe in a new way of experiencing. Believe that legit love, happiness, and joy are your everyday experiences.
Whenever you feel jolted by somebody else’s actions or reactions:
Be understanding that there may be other things they’re working through; everybody does.
Take into consideration that it may be something for you to work on.
Be thankful you were allowed to experience them showing/teaching it to you because you’re ready to let go and be done with that thought or behavior.
Forgive them and move onward and upward.
Nobody did themselves any favors by keeping themselves from being better people.
If you need to see some results in this, take inventory. Again, without judging:
Make a list of people who have jolted you this week, even on the road.
Think of what action upset you.
Write down the action and the motive you think was behind that action.
Now, really check to see if you: think of this feeling often, are holding on to an old story that says you’re deserving of that behavior, and/or do this to others. Take off the blinders and be open to the possibility.
*this isn’t a moment for guilt, shame, talking down to yourself, or feeling sorry for yourself. You can have feelings, but keep in mind that this is an empowerment moment. Just acknowledge it for now and let those feelings pass.
Circle all of the negative thoughts and behaviors you listed.
Go through the first one and say you want it gone, that you don’t want it to be a part of your reality anymore.
Then, cross it out and cast it out. Say, “this is NOT my reality any longer.”
Repeat this process for the rest of the ones you’ve circled. Stay in your CREW Process.
After you’ve gone through the list, command all of them are gone and close your letting go process with a Compelling Command.
Depending on how genuinely you let go, you can see results in as little as 2 days, up to 2 weeks. Within that timeframe, those jolts will continue in your experiences, but now it’s time to acknowledge them as they come up and let them go in that moment. The faster you can do that, the faster they are no longer in your life.
Lots o' Love to your Shining Light. Now, gets the makin’ o’ the moves.
Step 1: How to Forgive and Why
Step 2: Forgiving Others
Step 3: Forgiving Authority/Hierarchy
Step 4: Forgiving Self
Step 5: Forgiving Situations